That kid!

There is always kid in your child’s school or daycare that plays rougher than the other kids. But how do you deal with it when it’s becoming more violent?

Bully

Bully

Today this kid knocked down several kids in the playground. He wasn’t doing it in anger, just playing too rough and knocking these kids down. I supposed this would be considered bullying, right?

And the thing that irks me the most is that his Mom was standing nearby chatting with another Mom completely oblivious to what her son was up to!

She paid attention to the aftermath, when these kids, including my own, were crying. In one instance, she replied, “Well that boy scratched him too.”

Seriously!? Uh uh, no way! If that was my child doing that, I would stop them immediately, have them apologize, apologize myself and leave the playground!

This, to me, is the beginning of a bully and it needs to be corrected NOW!

How do you approach “That Kid” ‘s Mom?

I suppose you pull up your big girl panties and diplomatically approach, said Mom, and explain that their child is not behaving appropriately towards his or her friends and that they are getting hurt and upset.

To me, this Mom would get her back up and say, “Not my kid! Your child must have done something first to provoke mine.” Grrrrrrr.

Maybe you need to speak to the parents of the other kids who are being affected and have them approach her as well. Maybe then she’ll realize the issue.

I’m hoping for the best because this little guy could really be a great kid with some good redirection and correction.

If your little one is being bullied and having difficulty understanding what’s going on, check out this book that I came across, Pingo and the Preschool Bully.

Pingo and the Preschool Bullly

Pingo and the Preschool Bullly

Parenting.com has a great article on how to handle the Preschool Bully

http://www.parenting.com/article/how-to-handle-preschool-bullies

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6 thoughts on “That kid!

  1. why is everyone so quick to label these kids as bullies? this does not solve the problem, it only makes it worse! “Bullying,” some researchers say, has been misused and abused in the last few years — too casually uttered about every hurt, slight and fight, too frequently used in place of “teasing” or “fighting,” too often brought up before there’s proof it happened. oday we see children as being either dangerous villains or helpless victims. You only described this one small incident and already you are labeling a kid who maybe made a certain mistake as a bully and your son as a victim!

    Can you imagine if we called children stupid when they made mistakes in math? Or if we assumed they’d never recover when they fell off their bikes? This is how we’re essentially reacting every time we label children bullies or victims for making typical childhood mistakes or when they feel any hurt in a relationship.

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    • I am not calling this kid a bully, but that his behavior is unacceptable and that his parents should recognize this and do what they can to correct this. Behavior like this will make children shy away from this child and he will find that kids don’t want to play with someone who plays too rough.

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      • We have to remember we are talking about 3 and 4 year olds here. Kids mature at different levels; and grow at different speeds. We need to parent our own children, teachers need to open their eyes and teach better ways. Let’s not blame the kids right away. Though there are the odd balls that know what they’re doing and do it on purpose – I’m not saying there aren’t. But unless you know the kids it’s hard to judge.

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  2. I agree with s. Roughhousing does not a bully make. Bullying is done by emotionally damaged children who themselves are bullied at home. They are hurt and they act this out by hurting others. Playing rough should not be labeled bullying and this child is not the “beginning of a bully”.

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  3. I don’t completely agree.

    Although I don’t agree with the mother’s reaction; if this happened in the Pre-school playground it’s also up to the teacher to intervene confrontation between students. I say this because something similar happened this week in our preschool – though my son was the one that pushed another child. My son is not bad, and didn’t mean to push the little girl, he’s big and immature for his age, though because he’s so tall we assume he knows better. I of course wanted to jump over the fence when I saw it happen and straighten it out, but in our preschool the parents are asked to wait outside and they send the kids out one by one. We are not allowed into the play area at leaving time. So what was I supposed it to. I waited to see if they would do something, they ignored it (which irritated me), then when it happened again I intervened because I didn’t want the other mom’s thinking badly of him. But I still think that the preschool teachers should have stepped in instead of me having to muscle my way to the gate to try to get to my child – and they still made me wait at the door as they tried to go get him. Argh. When you have tall/big toddlers that don’t know their own strength they can play rougher without realizing what they’re doing- they are not bad kids, they don’t mean what they do, they just don’t understand that the smaller kids can’t play the same way. I have seen my son stand at the playground and kids run into him and bounce off, but other mother’s want to say that he’s in the wrong because he’s bigger. Need to see it from That Kids side before we judge.

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