Just call me Mom of the Year.

Last night we were coming home late and it was getting too late to cook something for dinner from scratch, so I pulled into the local super market parking lot.

My daughter and I hopped out of the van and walked around to the other side to let the wee dude out.

I had noticed an older woman across from us getting into her car and another guy riding a shopping cart to his.

All of a sudden I hear the guy start laughing out loud and I look up to see what was so funny.

The woman that had gotten into her car and now had pulled along side our van. She wound down her window and started talking to me. I couldn’t quite hear her, so I leaned towards her passenger window and asked her to repeat herself. 

“Your sweet little daughter just gave me the middle finger!”


SAY WHAT NOW!?

I have NEVER given ANYONE the middle finger (in front of my kids), so as to where she picked that up, completely baffles me!

I turned around and my daughter apologized to me, but I had her immediately apologize to the lady. I was so embarrassed!

She wouldn’t tell me why she did it and stuck to me like glue while we grabbed our groceries.

Eventually, on the way home, she confessed and said that the lady made a mean face at her. Perhaps she did…she did look pretty scowly. An example of BRF (bitchy resting face).

Another lesson learned…don’t try to sneak something behind Mum’s back ’cause you’ll ALWAYS get busted.

Oh, and be kind to others. Sometimes it pisses them off more.

Why all my underwear are “Period Panties”. #YMCCommunity

Long long ago, when I was in my late teens, early 20’s…I actually owned bra and panty sets.


They were so pretty. They matched, or at least were co-ordinated.

I shopped at La Senza. Canada’s version of Victoria Secret, where you could get two bras for $40 and five pairs of panties for $20. I was also, still working full-time and childless, so OF COURSE I had nice underbits!

Flash forward 20{ahem} years later, and I have given birth to two kids, hung up donated all of my working duds, and long gone are the days of fancy panties and push-up bras. I should have kept those push-up bras though because my ladies have headed so far south that a push-up bra would definitely come in handy.

My “tighty whitey/ granny panties” are now the staple of my daily attire.

The unfortunate sneezes, line-ups for our one bathroom, exercises that I do regularly to get my body back from having kids and the new version of Aunt Flo that my body produces, have totally ruined the idea of wearing gorgeous lingerie for me. The special laundering required for lingerie does not work with my normal laundry schedule. The most I am capable of in my hectic schedule is separating the lights from the darks before tossing them in the washing machine. 

I do see a light at the end of the tunnel though.

When the kids are both in school full-time, I will more me time allowing my Mr. Hyde FrankenMom persona to stay home while I work on a more publicly accepted version of myself.

I’m excited…just need to find some fashion sense and a new hairdresser 😜

That’s my boy! #YMCCommunity

As parents, we try our best to protect our precious little ones from violence and swearing…

but on occasion, there is no avoiding exposing them to the ugliness around us.

We spell out swear words when their little ears are nearby, and fumble to change the channel when adult content, whether violent or sexual, shows up on the TV screen.

Recently, we were privileged to be witness to an argument in public where swear words were being thrown around. Ugh! No avoiding that one.

Our 5-1/2yo daughter has always been very good at not repeating “grown up” words, even when she’s angry. But our 2-1/2 yo son, OY VEY! He is the BIGGEST parrot and has the most impeccable timing when he chooses to share his new found vocabulary.

I was picking our daughter up from school the other day and I brought along the wee dude. We always stay for a little while to play with friends and chit chat with the others parents.

When it was time to go, I hollered for my munchkins to head to the van and Tyrannosaurus Toddler yelled back, “Shut the F*€% up!”

Face Palm

I nearly died!

The playground got quiet and I felt all eyes on me. I wanted to disappear. How do you react to THAT!?

I quickly went to him, advised him that these words were grown up words and not appropriate for kids to use, but the more I did this, the more he thought it was funny and shared this with the onlookers.

I scooped him up and we made tracks to the van. I’m sure a great discussion was had in my absence, but whatever.

No, I don’t teach my kids these words. Yes, I have occasionally let a few slip out. Yes, I try to correct them when they are used. No, I’m not worried that others think I’m a terrible parent.

Life happens…roll with the punches. Kids will be kids and parents will always learn as we go along.

PS- I’m sorry my kid taught yours to swear. Next up…arm pit farts!

Who knew? #YMCCommunity

So, awhile ago, I learned a lot about what people think of me…

I learned that they think I am capable if doing things that would be described as daring.

The example was, I had updated my Facebook status to reveal that I had used my boobs to get out of a speeding ticket.

Flirting with a cop

I, in fact, had not flaunted my pride and joys, but I had fallen victim to a status update chain in support of Breast Cancer Awareness that a much loved girlfriend had shared.

What did I learn from this…?

I learned, that if I actually did do this:

1) I must be looking pretty good for my age

2) I can be manipulative (not so good)

3) My husband has a hot wife

4) My friends believe that I am capable of doing things that many wouldn’t

5) I have a confidence that I was previously unaware of

Reflecting on this, it makes me think that I can do things that would normally scare me. I can do something when I set my mind to it.

The future has just become brighter to me and I’m ready to see where it leads.

A big Thank You to my friends for opening my eyes and my mind 😃

My Quest for Happiness…Day 1 #100DaysOfGratitude #YMCCommunity

I’ve come to realize that I am miserable…

Hello...my name is Miserable

Hubby has told me this, but I’ve been in denial. I know I’m not happy and this has been going on for far too long. I’ve always looked at the worst case scenario in things and had “the cup is half empty” mentality.

It started after our daughter was born five years ago and I just have not been able to shake the doom and gloom away. Being sad, angry and jealous really takes you away of from enjoying the many fantastic things that occur in your daily life.

So taking a page from several friends and finally listening to my husband…I will be removing my head from my ass and taking the time each day to recognize and appreciate the good things that are in my life.

Gratitude

So here goes…

Day 1 of 100 Days of Gratitude

1) I am grateful for my husband and children.

*they stick around regardless of my mood, give me unconditional love and eat my failed attempts at new recipes.

2) I am grateful for my health.

*there are people close to me who are not as fortunate and I apologize for taking this for granted.

3) I am grateful for my sense of humour.

*I enjoy a good laugh and I believe that laughter is the best medicine.

I’ll be the first to admit that whenever I have seen others posting about gratitude, it has irritated me. It seemed preachy and I dislike being told what to do.

But now, with hat in hand, I must push my pride aside and ask for strength to keep me focused and strong to make me a better person.

Happiness

The day I got noticed. #YMCCommunity

It was a regular day and I was busily getting the kids organized and packed up to head to the mall for a little errand running.

 

IMG_2915

The sun was shining, so I planned for us to walk over, which was only a fifteen minute journey.

As per usual, everyone must go potty or get a bum change prior to our departure, so as not to have the “MOM, I NEED TO GO POTTY NOW!”, halfway en route. Little Miss tends to her business and the wee lad has had a poop, so a little extra work is required.

Finally, we’re all sorted and out the door.

We talk and sing merrily as we dawdle along. Checking out the bugs, learning about the trees and singing out favourite tunes.

Once we get to the mall, immediately the request to visit the play area is made, so I negotiate that we do our errands quickly, and then we go to the play area before heading home.

Oddly, people keep looking at me. I get some smiles and double takes, and attribute it to my being on the local news recently, so clearly these people have recognized me.

Double take

We carry on, finish getting what we need and head over to the play area.

Again, more stares.

A little uncomfortable, but now I understand what being a celebrity must feel like. Not that I’m calling myself a celebrity by any means, but having my face recognized is a little weird.

image

I let the littles play for half an hour or so, but now it is time to head home for lunch and the little man’s afternoon nap.

When we get home, the mandatory hand washing is required. As we’re washing our hands, I take a quick glance in the mirror…

To my horror, I see a brown smear across my forehead!

When I changed Captain Poopypant’s diaper before we left, I must have got some on my hand. I recall brushing my hair from my face before I washed my hands, so that’s probably how it got there.

ERMAGHERD! THAT’S WHY EVERYONE WAS LOOKING AT ME!

image

My daughter was supposed to be my wingman when it comes to stuff like this! Kids ALWAYS notice when you have crap on your face or a booger in your nose.

I certainly hope the people that we had encountered throughout the day didn’t actually recognize me from my TV appearance. I’m sure they’d be telling all their friends, “Yeah, I saw that chick from the news the other day today. She had poo on her face!”

Have you ever embarrassed yourself in public?

What do you do when the flame starts to fade? Add some #BedroomSpice {Giveaway}

When you first met your significant other, there was a spark…

Photo credit: Diva of Dating

Photo credit: Diva of Dating

This spark ignited into a flame as you got to know each other better. As you continue in your relationship, that flame bursts into a roaring fire. That is until…the kids come along.

Photo credit: The Sugar a Babies Online

Photo credit: The Sugar a Babies Online

Your time gets filled and energy gets depleted when caring for young children, that having a little “Mommy and Daddy Time” comes few and far between. Sleeping or getting your own things done, take priority. My husband and I haven’t had a Date Night since our daughter was born, four and a half years ago, but we do try to have some “Us Time” after the weelets have gone to bed. So what do you do to keep the fire burning? Date Night? A weekend away? What about a sex tape?! Some couples do this to spice things up when the excitement in their relationship starts to dwindle. With the current technology available to us, making your own home video is an easy accomplishment, but what happens if it gets into the wrong hands? Sex Tape from Sony Pictures releases July 18th, 2014 in theatres Sex Tape Sony Pictures has generously provided Raincity Parent a “Sex Tape” gift basket to giveaway to one lucky reader. This giveaway runs from July 9th-17th, 2014 and is open to Canadian residents only, excluding Quebec. Please enter via the Rafflecopter link below. *Contestants may enter across other blogs, however you may only win on a single blog* a Rafflecopter giveaway “Disclosure: I am part of the Sony Pictures – Sex Tape Movie program with Mom Central Canada and I receive special perks as part of my affiliation with this group. The opinions on this blog are my own.”

It just comes with the territory of having babies… Not true! #PelvicFloorWeakness #YMCCommunity

If you’ve ever given birth, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

My Mum has it, my sister has it, my girlfriends have, it’s just a part of life now after having babies. Right? Nope!

Giving birth after effect

After being pregnant, having a baby or being overweight or obese, many women experience “leakage”. This can happen during exercise, sneezing, coughing and even laughing too hard. You may also find that you need to pee more frequently and urgently, and on occasion, not get to the potty in time! How about farting by accident in the middle of yoga class or when you’re in the vicinity of some uber gorgeous man? Have you starting having issues going #2? What about having sex with your partner? Has it become uncomfortable or even painful?

Did you just fart?

Did you hear that?

If you said “Yes!” to any or all of the above, then you probably have a pelvic floor problem.

What is a pelvic floor problem? It’s when your pelvic floor (the group of muscles that hold your bladder, uterus, vagina, and rectum in place) become stretched, weakened or even too tight and don’t function properly.  The most common types of dysfunction are stress incontinence (leaking with exertion) and pelvic organ prolapse (when the internal organs protrude into and eventually out of the vagina). Stats will tell you around 33% of women have pelvic floor challenges but because it is a taboo subject it is often not reported so the real number is likely much higher.  

Types of Pelvic Organ Prolapse

If you are experiencing any of the above symptoms, your first line of defence should be seeing a pelvic floor physiotherapist – you do not need a referral and it is covered by extended health if you have physiotherapy benefits.  A gynaecologist may also be helpful if surgery is required and if so, a pelvic floor physiotherapist should remain part of your pre-hab and re-hab care before and after surgery.  

Recently I decided that after years of suffering from “leakage” after having my babies, I wanted to get this issue under control. I hated buying extra pads because of my new desire for exercise. Every time I did high impact moves like running and jumping, my bladder became my worst enemy.  After having my first child, whenever I’d attend a fitness class, I would suffer from “leakage”.

Pee during exerciseTotally embarrassing!

Even though I’d pee before class started, as soon as a high impact exercise began, I’d be wetting myself like a dog kept indoors all day, excited to see his owner come home from work.

I thought that this was the new me and the only way to deal with it was to wear a pad during exercise.

I decided that this really sucked and made an appointment with Kim Vopni at Pelvienne Wellness.

Pelvienne Wellness

Kim is a Certified Personal Trainer, a Certified Pre/Post Natal Fitness Consultant, a Certified Fitness For Fertility Specialist, a Certified Pfilates Instructor and is trained in the Hypopresive Method. She is also a Trained Post Partum Doula which has many clients referring to her as The Fitness Doula.  

She asked me questions regarding my pregnancies and deliveries and had me do a series of movements to see how my body was moving.

When our session was done, Kim recommended that I make an appointment with a Pelvic Floor Physiotherapist.  She recommends all of her clients do so and she advises that you should schedule a pelvic floor assessment with your physio every year as a proactive approach. There is a list of Pelvic Floor Physiotherapists across Canada available on the Pelvienne Wellness website.

If you do have pelvic floor issues and you are into fitness, here is a list of exercises that you can do and also ones that you should avoid:

Pelvic floor safe cardio exercises

  • walking
  • swimming
  • seated cycling
  • cross trainer (low resistance)
  • low intensity water aerobics
  • walking in the water, and
  • low impact exercise classes.

Cardio exercises to avoid

  • running
  • jumping
  • star jumps
  • skipping
  • boxing
  • high impact exercise classes that involve running and jumping, and
  • sports involving stop-start running and rapid direction change (e.g. tennis, netball, basketball, hockey, touch football).

I have also stumbled across an App for pelvic floor-friendly exercises that you may find helpful.

PFF_APP_V3

For Apple users.

For Android users.

I think that the authors of the pregnancy books, that we all pick up when we find out that we’re expecting, should really include information regarding your pelvic floor, for during pregnancy and after delivery. The information should be provided towards the beginning of the book so that you can start the exercises early to help prevent injury, strain and tearing of your lady parts once your baby decides to make it’s way into the world. Women don’t tend to know about ways of prevention until AFTER they give birth, and by then it could be more difficult to correct. Kim Vopni also offers workshops in person and via skype called Prepare To Push, where she covers the preventative information. This will also be coming out as a book in early Fall.

For more information about pelvic floor health, please visit the Pelvienne Wellness website.

 

When you gotta go…don’t do it at preschool! #YMCCommunity

This morning, preschool drop off went like clockwork.
We got there on time, took off our winter duds, put on our indoor shoes and signed in. Little lady went around and said “Good morning!” to all her classmates and we headed to the potty before Little Dude and I headed back home.
We get into the washroom, and BLAM-O, we are whacked in the face by a green cloud of stink!
There is no way that one of her little pals left THAT in there!
Ugh, we hold our breath and get through it, and make a hasty get away.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice one of the Dads sneaking a sideways glance at me. We make eye contact and he looks away quickly.
Busted!
I get it, we all have to go, but for the love of all things sacred, DO NOT GO AT PRESCHOOL!

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Photo credit: NatalieDee.com

That kid!

There is always kid in your child’s school or daycare that plays rougher than the other kids. But how do you deal with it when it’s becoming more violent?

Bully

Bully

Today this kid knocked down several kids in the playground. He wasn’t doing it in anger, just playing too rough and knocking these kids down. I supposed this would be considered bullying, right?

And the thing that irks me the most is that his Mom was standing nearby chatting with another Mom completely oblivious to what her son was up to!

She paid attention to the aftermath, when these kids, including my own, were crying. In one instance, she replied, “Well that boy scratched him too.”

Seriously!? Uh uh, no way! If that was my child doing that, I would stop them immediately, have them apologize, apologize myself and leave the playground!

This, to me, is the beginning of a bully and it needs to be corrected NOW!

How do you approach “That Kid” ‘s Mom?

I suppose you pull up your big girl panties and diplomatically approach, said Mom, and explain that their child is not behaving appropriately towards his or her friends and that they are getting hurt and upset.

To me, this Mom would get her back up and say, “Not my kid! Your child must have done something first to provoke mine.” Grrrrrrr.

Maybe you need to speak to the parents of the other kids who are being affected and have them approach her as well. Maybe then she’ll realize the issue.

I’m hoping for the best because this little guy could really be a great kid with some good redirection and correction.

If your little one is being bullied and having difficulty understanding what’s going on, check out this book that I came across, Pingo and the Preschool Bully.

Pingo and the Preschool Bullly

Pingo and the Preschool Bullly

Parenting.com has a great article on how to handle the Preschool Bully

http://www.parenting.com/article/how-to-handle-preschool-bullies